The Joy of Accepting What Can’t Be Changed


“Oftentimes, the greatest peace comes of surrender.” Richard Paul Evans

Sometimes – or oftentimes – things in our life need to "unravel" so they may be recreated into something that will serve us better for where we are headed. So wanting to hold on, resist, or even stop these situations from happening altogether can get in the way of our growth and create feelings of disappointment and a chronic state of stress and anxiety...


Surrendering is not a failure, defeat, or a giving up. Instead, it’s about halting the desire to control the uncontrollable and accepting things for what they are~ that we don't always have all the answers and cannot always think or see our way through. It means that we don’t know if what’s to come will be better or worse, more comfortable or more awful. True surrender is accepting we're not always in charge but willing to meet life as it is —knowing that what matters the most is how we choose to manage and cope in the here and now, not some imagined future we may or may not achieve.


There is always an invitation to embrace surrender within each day - a choice to open up to more joy and gratitude in big and small ways. To whatever capacity you might be trying to control, even micromanage your circumstances, here are small ways to change that.

  • Suspend judgment of yourself and others—be kind to yourself and those around you. Allow yourself to smile more at yourself and others with gentleness.

  • Let go of the urge to know about your future -Knowing too much kills spontaneity. And without spontaneity, you are not allowing the universe to breathe and create through you. Always have an idea about what you want to aspire for, but let go of how.

  • Be grateful for all the little things—a cup of tea, fresh flowers, a podcast poem or a prayer, or helpful words from a friend.

  • Stay in the present moment— throughout the day, pause for a minute or two and ground yourself by focusing on your feet and asking: Where am I, and What am I doing?

  • Meet your resistance with an open heartlearn to embrace it as the powerful messenger it is. Instead of letting it debilitate you, you can see resistance as a sign that illuminates where you must go. Take a pause and ask yourself: What’s the invitation here for surrendering?

The ability to surrender becomes easier when you start small. Just like any habit, it takes practice. But it brings you the mental freedom you truly deserve. When you surrender to the flow of life, you open yourself to possibilities and honor where you are without worrying about where you need to be.


Netsanet Tegegn, LCSW is a Psychotherapist in Virginia Beach who provides individualized counseling services for those who wish to create long-lasting and positive changes in their lives...




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